There are many things that humans often ponder, even joke about, when it comes to Cat Gods. Things like, “Why does my Cat God stare at invisible objects for hours?” or “Why does my Cat God run around the house in a frantic craze at 3 AM?” The truth behind these strange cat behaviors is far more complex than you might imagine.
In this exclusive article, we reveal many of the Cat Gods’ deepest, darkest secrets — mysteries that up until now, the Cat Gods have kept hidden from the world.
This information is not for the faint of heart, so we urge you to stop reading now if you have any health conditions, are prone to seizures or may be pregnant. If that’s the case, we suggest you head over to our Cat Memes category for some light reading and consider such historic images like the “Should I Buy a Boat?” cat meme.
Now, let’s dive into the wondrous spiral of all the mysterious cat behaviors that have gone heretofore unexplained. Tread carefully…
What Are the Cat Gods Really Looking At?
The Cat Gods are not overt in their thoughts and emotions. Often they appear to maintain an even keel. They seem to nap often and show rare signs of engagement. Most humans would say that movement of smaller life forms (i.e. birds, squirrels, chipmunks, mice, or toys of this likeness) will in most cases gain their attention, but for the most part, the Cat Gods prefer a life of leisure.
However, this is completely false. Forget everything you thought you knew about Cat Gods.
The Cat Gods actually exist between worlds and may not always be 100% present in the physical Earth-realm we inhabit. While it may seem that the Cat Gods are particularly lazy, they are in fact exuding 1,128 times as much energy as the average life form. This is because they are constantly traveling between dimensions and communicating with an endless array of beings at all levels of existence. This can result in things such as: a lack of response when calling your Cat God’s name, seemingly erratic bursts in energy, and of course, staring at moving objects that don’t exist to the human eye.
If you thought Cat Gods were in fact imagining things, you were dead wrong.
The Cat Gods laugh at our inability to see the many different layers of existence, and are often bored by our insignificant problems or lack of understanding. Sometimes, in an attempt to alert us to the multi-dimensional beings cohabitating our Earth plane, they will rush across the room in order to communicate the danger of these mysterious creatures. However, in most cases humans will simply laugh at them, or in worse cases, ignore the Cat Gods entirely.
Perhaps the Strangest Cat Behavior: The Cat God Stare
A common Cat God expression is the wide-eyed stare. This is when a Cat God takes on the expression of pure terror at something that is seemingly non-existent. This typically lasts a minute or so, before the Cat God will reinitiate eye contact and is usually followed by a slow blink of reassurance to their human caretaker.
In these cases, a Cat God has spotted a light being and proceeded to communicate with the being either to encourage it not to harm their human caretaker or to relay important messages from higher spiritual planes.
When a Cat God is in this state, it is extremely important that you do not move or distract the Cat God in any way. This is mainly because you do not want to interrupt their transmission, especially in cases where the light being has ill intentions towards you or the Cat God in question.
Once the Cat God has completed its transmission, the slow blink is a Cat God’s way of notifying those around it that the communication has ended, and thus, you may continue as normal. Please note: If a Cat God runs away after the transmission is completed, and it is NOT followed by a slow blink, proceed with caution! There is a very probable chance that you, or quite possibly the entire world, is in danger of imploding in on itself in an endless wave of fractal-like deconstruction.
Another Strange Cat Behavior: The Witching Hour
Many humans have experienced another of the Cat Gods’ unusual phenomenons, which is the increase in activity during the early morning or “witching hour.” This is typically around 3 AM, although it can occur around midnight as well—depending on the Earth’s rotation, location of the moon and other planetary forces. Despite its given title, this does not mean the Cat Gods are performing some demonic ritual, as some humans may imply. This in fact is a routine of much greater importance, and in some ways, we humans will never have the capacity to fully understand all that this ritual entails.
During the night, the Cat Gods are receiving a heightened amount of energy, in many cases they are downloading infinite knowledge that can only be obtained during the time of day when the barrier between worlds is at its thinnest. Humans have given this time the title “Witching Hour”; however, the Cat Gods call it something that is impossible to speak or write in the English language. (It is only barely audible as a high-pitched whistle in the tone of B minor when heard by the human ear.)
While humans are typically asleep during this time, the Cat Gods are hard at work both communicating and relaying intricate synapses in energy that are then distributed throughout the farthest reaches of outer space, as well as millions of planes of existences.
What is this accomplishing? Well, they wouldn’t go into too much detail in that regard, as they were not sure the human race was ready for this information. However, they did explain that at its pinnacle, the process causes a kind of loop that leads to the folding of time itself and opens a wormhole that can be used for time travel. Which leads to our next secret…
You may have caught yourself staring intently into the Cat Gods’ eyes from time to time. Who wouldn’t? Their eyes are mesmerizing, they draw you in and hold you in a warm embrace of pure peaceful awareness that washes clean all of your inhibitions, doubts, childhood fears and sins. If you’ve ever caught hold of a Cat God’s gaze, you may already be peripherally aware of what we are about to reveal to you.
The Cat Gods by nature exist in many different planes at one time, which means they themselves are capable of not only opening portals to other realms, but embodying those portals as well. For any human with enough fortitude and dedication to not only gain a Cat God’s complete trust and approval, as well as to master their own thoughts and self-awareness, this portal can be accessed through the Cat God’s eyes. This is in fact where we have gained much of the information for our website, and we still have much to learn in this holy practice.
A Final Word of Advice…
The Cat Gods are still very much a mystery to our common human senses, and while this is only a short excerpt of the many messages they continue to share with us, we hope that you have gained a better understanding of some of the unusual and strange cat behaviors that us as Cat God worshippers experience every day.
As a final word of advice, we suggest that you continue to respect the Cat Gods and understand that they are part of something far greater than we could ever imagine. When your Cat God is caught in a lengthy stare, or when he/she runs across the room unexpectedly, or when they do not seem to react to your incessant calling, please remember they are communicating at many intricate levels simultaneously and are doing their best to hold the very fabric of the Universe together.
The Cat God Worshippers